This is my 3 step action plan for anyone attempting to eliminate self-sabotage:⁠⁠
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Observe your patterns- while I hardly advocate for dwelling in the past, many teachings exist for us to learn from. If you’ve attempted to accomplish something several times to no avail, there’s a reason. Only through the observations of our choices and actions can we truly grasp the lesson that’s there to enlighten us. If you continuously “fail” at reaching your goal, there is likely a pattern that was instilled in you. Patterns commonly develop in childhood by observing the behavior of our caretakers. Take note of characteristics that you feel are unhealthy and see if any other family members share similar obstacles in their pursuit of happiness. ⁠⁠
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Take responsibility- the finger pointing game that many are accustomed to serves absolutely no one. A person who is able to acknowledge their shortcomings is guaranteed to reach their destination at a much higher velocity than those that assume the victim mindset. It’s normal to want to put others at fault because that relieves us of being the ones in our own way. The problem is that this belief system disempowers us. It suggests that we are so incapable of creating our own happiness, that others are responsible for it. Happiness is subject to the individual, therefore no one else is able to provide exactly what you desire. Taking ownership of your path is the only option.⁠⁠
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Prioritize “me” time- by design, our culture has fostered the belief that anyone who puts themselves before others is considered selfish. This is one of the biggest issues our society faces as a whole. Many people are depleted while trying to serve others, and it puts them at a grave disadvantage. I always tell clients that they can’t pour from an empty cup. If you don’t prioritize what makes you feel your best, you are operating below that standard. If your loved ones truly deserve your attentive love and care, then give them the highest form of it. Find out what ignites you and practice that as often as you can. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary for the betterment of all, especially yourself.⁠⁠
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Remember– you’re worth it!⁠⁠

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